I Can Do Hard Things

I almost forgot that I had this website. See, I created this website as a mental health website. But here’s the issue, at the time I created the website, I was quite bored with the mental health space. Talking about it, thinking about it. Doing spaces about it. I was almost completely over it.

Therefore, all of my posts were researched to the minutest detail and I would post whenever I felt “led” to use my experience and prevent other people from making the same mistakes.

But I was not consistent with it. And it showed. In over 2 years I only have about 6 – 8 posts (the ones that I haven’t deleted anyway) and only a couple of drafts.

When the website announced that it had to be renewed, I spent almost a month thinking about paying $125 – $175 on something that I was not sure that I still wanted to do.

But that’s not the website’s fault. I am one of the most creative people I know. I’m a boss at writing, and I am incredibly talented.

I’m a boss at video editing and digital marketing and social media marketing and so much more that I can’t think of, right now. I had just gone through a period of creative dryness and laziness.

The question was, would I take a chance on having my rants published on somewhere other than Twitter or LinkedIn? And could I believe in myself enough to bet on myself, once again? Bet that I could turn those red indicators to green ones? Bet that this website could become profitable? And a fun place to be? Raw talent is all well and good but hard work beats talent that doesn’t push itself or stay consistent. Black and blue, every single day of the week.

We talk a lot about third spaces. About places you can go to unwind that doesn’t require you to spend a lot of money. Places other than social media. We talk about it in the context of being afraid for Gen Alpha, because Cartoon Network is almost done packing up, and there are not as many teenage girl magazines anymore. But what we don’t realize is that as our physical third spaces disappear, so do our virtual ones.

What finally pushed me to take the decision for myself was the memory I had of my other blog(s).

Over 400 posts, some rants, some serious, some depicting me doing things that I was trying to get recognition for, all over again.

Like digital marketing, content marketing, and social media marketing. I wanted to show future employers that if they trusted me and guided me, I could take their businesses to new heights.

I deleted it in a fit of faux righteousness. And I have regretted it ever since. So, I made the heart wrenching decision, google $125 in Nigerian naira in 2025. Do the Googles 🥹, if you think it’s not a painful decision. I promised myself that I was going to revive the blog and use it as another echo chamber. Apart from Twitter, Medium, or LinkedIn. Apart from calling my friend(s) at 11pm and keeping them up till 2am on a workday. Sorry Olayinka 😭. I know you didn’t mind, but it’s the principle of it.

I promised myself that I would post and I would post consistently. And then I ran into another problem. My website’s security was compromised.🤦🏽‍♀️

And then I faced another decision, pay for Sitelock 911 (almost $200, in addition to the $165 that was still causing me to have palpitations) or put on my web developer cap (yes, I’m also a web developer, I made this website and a few others, and fix it by myself).

I decided to put on my web developer cap. I spent hours, meticulously backing up my cPanel, creating website duplicates, setting up 2 Factor authentication on my cPanel, disabling and eventually activating all plugins, even taking a gander into SQL, and making sure above all else, that I knew why I was doing this.

It can be so hard. It can be so hard to go through minutes, hours, months and years of dryness. Where you’re literally begging people to take a closer look or another look at you, your skills, your experiences and deem you worthy to come up to the next level. And help you stay there.

Nigeria is a country that eats a lot of its young, yes. But am I blaming Nigeria unfairly while not doing anything to get out of the trap? Am I letting my apathy take over and run my life?

I want to travel. I want to explore other countries, I want to eat lobster, crab and taste caviar once again. I want lasagna, seafood boils, platanos, ham and bacon to be part of my weekly rotation of meals. I want to drink berry and pomegranate smoothies to give me energy on the days I don’t want to eat, I want to visit restaurants in Costa Rica, Medellin, Japan, America, China and South Korea.

I want to live in Mali, Indonesia, the Philippines and Rwanda for a little bit. I want to party with my friend in Germany, hike in Malaysia, eat exotic foods that will quickly become run of the mill because I eat them everyday.

I want to be a digital nomad. I want my life to be much better than it is, right now. I speak it into existence every time whether I’m sick, healthy, strong. Whatever mood I’m in.

I close my eyes, imagining myself in the Emirates Business Class lounge in Dubai, taking a break on a massage chair while eating a meal from the buffet, speaking Spanish in Mexico to purchase arepas, tostadas, and tacos, laughing with a friend in London, speaking French to locals in Senegal, calming my nervous system.

But none of that happens if I don’t start believing in my ability to do hard things on my own behalf.

And I want it to happen. I want to close this chapter of the book post haste. And it’s not like this is such a lousy chapter, mind you. I just believe I’ve been reading it too long.

So, this is a reintroduction. My name is Obianuju Jennifer Ayalogu. I am creating a third space here. In this iteration, the blog will be focused on lifestyle, anxiety prevention tips, rants. I will stay consistent, even if that means posting less than 100 words sometimes.

Because my name is Obianuju Jennifer Ayalogu and I can do hard things.